My brother, Matthew, approached me this week about helping him create layouts of the houses we have called “home” throughout our twenty-something years. He sent over his rough sketches and I was amazed at how well preserved the floor plans were in his head. From a desk to a tiny nook, his simple illustrations brought memories of our childhood flooding back.
Since his drawings were only rough drafts, he asked if I would be able to make neater copies with smoother lines and outlines that looked like furniture rather than simply squares and circles. I told him I would do the best I could, since I am pretty lousy at proportions but his guides aided me in the endeavor.
As I tried to picture the layouts of other homes he had not yet attempted, I was quite disheartened to realize that there were so many pieces of the puzzles missing in my mind. I would try to imagine the basement of our home in northern Ontario and could not get past the fuzzy image of a table and a dim light. It was quite a shock to me when Matthew described a computer room and flecked brown carpeting. None of this seemed familiar and the more I thought about it, the clearer an image I got based on those details but then I did not know if it was simply my mind picturing what had been described or an actual visual memory resurfacing.
This is why I am a huge proponent for writing things down. It is time consuming to keep a journal of Natascha’s daily accomplishments and activities but I know it will be something we both cherish later on. Trying to dig through family history, discovering roots and climbs trees, can be exhausting and confusing; but I keep at recording as much as I can given the resources I have because I do not want it to be lost. I have a journal I keep for Ray and me as well. It is full of things he does to show he loves me, brief summaries of date nights or noteworthy outings and silly quotations that were taken from our mouths.
I love to write. I thrive on learning. I get engrossed in a detailed biography. I get a deep feeling of satisfaction when I uncover facts and stories about people in my lineage. It is no wonder that these facts are true; given the number of teachers who dot my family tree and the fact my father is a history buff.
I find new resolve each time I attempt a task like the one set forth by my brother. It is so frustrating to sit down and try to draw out a home that brings back fond recollections and familiarity but when it comes down to it, I can only see a faint outline. I try to walk through the home in my mind and I keep coming to dark corners or fuzzy rooms. It reminds of me a bad dream. It makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me.
As paranoid as I feel at the moment, that my memory is faltering, I reassure myself knowing it most likely just time taking its toll. That is why it is important to just keep plugging along, writing as much down as possible.
There is so much I remember with vivid clarity that I wish I did not and there are other things that seem so distant now that I wish I could hold closer.
My grandma passed away when I was fourteen and while I hold many warm feelings of her in my heart, it pains me that she seems to be slipping away once more, as I try desperately to remember specific instances where we spent time together or had a meaningful conversation and instead find a disjointed, blurred together mess of events.
I know in this technology driven age the art of picking up a pen and putting it to paper is so ho hum. However, there is so much that I am able to look back on now because I did do that throughout my childhood. There is a journal in my collection that was started when I was about seven years old!
Technology is not innately horrible either. It can be quite useful. Much of my journal entries and stories are being preserved as I type them up on my computer. Having as many copies as possible helps ensure these records will not be lost.
If you are like me and wish to preserve your life and the lives of your loved ones in family history records:
– Keep talking! Verbally share stories, family relations and other noteworthy facts like education or careers you want to keep records of.
– Write it down! When I think about what I would like to know about my great-great-grandparents or even my immediate grandparents, I have realized that nothing is too small to jot down. Write down addresses, occupations, family trips, recipes, hobbies etc.
– Draw! You do not have to be an artist to sketch out a rough family tree or if you so choose, the floor plan to a childhood home. It can clear up any confusion about who is related to whom in the future, since merely writing down a lineage can cause discrepancies.
– Pass it on! Family heirlooms are a tangible way to preserve a person’s memory. I have a tea cup from my great-grandma’s collection that is proudly displayed in my curio cabinet as a reminder of tea parties and other happy memories. Keep note somewhere of why an item holds sentimental value so that family in the future knows what is just another vase or necklace and what is Great Aunt Alma’s favourite broach, that she wore to church every Sunday (just an example). It might make the task of going through a loved ones possessions after they are gone easier, knowing what is worth passing on and what can be donated or sold.
– Make Copies! There are family members on both sides of my family that are doing genealogy research and some have even made books with written up family history and a tree. Sharing a book like this with other members of the family is a neat and tidy way of keeping the records going and making it easy to store and access.
– Take Lots of Pictures! I have been able to add to some of the floor plans because I found pictures that show different angles of our house. I never knew how important the background of a picture could be, as I squint and try to make out which shelf was located against which wall behind the focus of the people at the focus of the picture. Also, having visual records to go along with your tree makes it real. Putting a face to a name has a great impact, making that person come alive in your mind. I am thankful for the invention of the digital camera because I can get away with taking seemingly random shots of my house from all angles that later on have proved to be invaluable resources. My childhood photo log is sparse because you never knew for sure whether a picture turned out well or not until you too the film to be developed and you could only take so many pictures per roll of film.
These are just a few things I have learned from my time doing research. I am by no means an expert, so I am sure there are other useful tutorials by more seasoned veterans but what I share is, I believe, still worth keeping in mind. I hope you are in the business of enjoying your loved ones in the here and now but being able to look back on your life and see the journey so plainly is rewarding and shows just where God picked up, carried you and watered you so you would grow through this experience or that. It is a wonder and it has allowed me to see just how far I have come. Someday, I pray that will be an encouragement to my daughter too.
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