When I married my husband, I believed I would never fall in love again. But, after nearly five years of marriage, I was proven wrong. It happened on a stormy, mid-June evening when I got to hold our baby girl in my arms for the very first time. It had been a long labor but that moment when they placed her in my arms, bundled up and minutes old, made the exhausting process completely worthwhile. I looked down at my sweet baby girl and recall thinking “Wow, she looks just like me”.
My heart was warm, my eyes wet with tears of relief and joy. I knew I had loved her from the moment we knew of her existence and that love had only grown tenfold over the course of my pregnancy. Now that she was looking up at me with those big blue eyes, I could not fathom the array of emotions surging through me. I loved her as if she had always been in my life. I was completely in love with her.
All my life, I thought being in love was reserved for a romantic relationship but this love is just as heart-pounding, exciting and incredible. There is no other way to truly describe just how deeply I love my daughter but to say “I am in love with this sweet little girl”. I never thought I would want to plant so many kisses on anyone but my husband. I did not know that I would want to gaze lovingly into anyone else’s face or hold another tenderly in my arms. I guess this is what a mother’s love feels like.
It is not romantic but it is decidedly more affectionate than the love I have for my mother, father and brother. It is a love unto itself. I suppose a father’s love is much the same, which is why God sending His own Son to die on a cross is so profound. He is good at explaining His love for me in new ways, in bits and bites. I enjoy gaining new understanding of God’s love, especially since what He has to say on love is the best resource on the topic. After all, He is the only one with a perfect love.
My husband and I are immensely blessed by the new addition to our family. She truly is a gift from God. It has been just past five months since we welcomed her into the world and we both enjoy watching her become her own little person. It is amazing how quickly babies develop their own little personalities. It is fun to see how much she acts and looks like each of us. Without a doubt, she has her Daddy’s nose and ears. She has my strawberry blonde hair and my mouth. In some pictures she looks just like her Daddy but I have compared my baby pictures to hers and there are some where we look almost identical. Above all though, she is uniquely her. There is no other baby in the world just like her.
We hope to add to our family in the future. I know at this point I cannot imagine loving another baby as much as I do our firstborn but I look forward to being shown otherwise. For now though, I am enjoying the elation that comes with being Mommy. Thankfully, I know that even when those warm feelings are lying dormant (while she’s been screaming for fifteen minutes straight or refuses to go to sleep) that I love her; No matter what!
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