At this point, I am nowhere near an expert on marriage. I’m still delving into the couple devotionals and resources we were given for our wedding. However, in six months I have been so very grateful to be blessed with my husband. I don’t understand what marriage means to someone who is not saved, or does not wait to have sex, but I know for me it was a lifelong commitment. No matter how angry, no matter how upset, he is still my husband and I love him. I don’t always feel like I love him, but love isn’t an emotion. It’s commitment to someone you care about, devotion, looking out for their well-being no matter what. It isn’t hard to believe it’s been half a year since we exchanged vows in front of our teary-eyed family and friends. It really does feel that long but not in a bad way. I’ve been friends with Ray since 10th grade and we began our dating relationship at the end of our senior year. It was on our one year anniverssary that he proposed. I don’t regret saying "yes." I loved him then, I love him now. So, our road to where we are now has been full of growth. Marriage is not complete bliss where you never fight and are always close. It is what you make of it though. I’ve learned a lot about my pride and setting it aside during a disagreement. I have to look at the basic issue and evaluate whether I have warranted his anger or if he just needs to blow some steam and I should give him space. If it is the latter, he always comes to me with an apology. More often than not it’s just me being stubborn and not yielding to taking the blame for something silly. I am learning though! Knowing I have someone who will support me, take care of me, love me, and just be there for me is great. Ray and I hit it off from the moment we first met but I know God’s timing is greater than mine, and so the time that I spent dating his best friend has given me a great appreciation of God’s knack for love stories. I never thought anyone else could love me or that I’d want someone else but many people told me if God has someone better out there for ME then I will be happier in the long run. Didn’t help then as much but it was true. Ray is better suited for me and I am so glad that I am in this relationship. Marriage is very intimate. You share a lot of stuff. We share a bedroom…which overall is great, but we have different ideas of keeping the room picked up. I don’t mind picking up after him for the most part but it can get exasperating. This is not to say I keep everything of my own tidy. Organizing I love…cleaning I do not but it is my job to see that those needs are met. I do enjoy cooking for him and when I have successful meal I enthusiastically set it on the table and enjoy it with him. I believe very strongly that a woman is meant to serve her husband. The husband must also show love and serve his wife, but the wife is supposed to be submissive. I do my best. Like I said, I am stubborn! However, learning to obey him and knowing when to really put my foot down and say "Sweets, I really don’t feel comfortable with that idea." He does ask my opinion on the things that matter though, and he knows that he can do with my opinion as he pleases. It’s hard for me but it makes things run much smoother. I don’t know why a lot of women are afraid of the housewife role. Honestly, going out there and working my way to the top of some business is not a goal of mine. I feel comfortable under God’s provision through my husband and if I can keep practicing getting a routine down for keeping the house fresh and tidy, then I think I am doing my part. I don’t mind making some crafts and such to sell because that is something I can do at home and enjoy. Marriage is a blessing that so many take lightly. When that bubbly love feeling is over then what? When you’re through the honeymoon stage…or you realize new quirks about your spouse…then what? You press on! It’s not easy. It’s not supposed to be. You have to work at it. "Love… always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:7b) We can model our love after Christ’s. His love is everlasting. It is said "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; His love endures forever." (1 Chronicles 16:34)
When I was dating Ray it was different. There is a different level of intimacy and work that goes into maintaining a marriage. When we were dating there was always the option of breaking up. Neither of us ever really considered it an option because we knew we were devoted and wanted to marry someday, but it would not have been wrong for us to break up. When we became engaged we looked at it as if we were already married, in that we were now promised to one another and would not break that promise. We had spent three years getting to know the other and now were promising to wed. We knew what the other believed, agreed on all the Biblical points and debates (abortion, gay relationships, sex outside of marriage) and both had saved ourself for our future spouse. That really means a lot when you get to the wedding night. I would’ve felt terrible knowing he had shared such a moment with some other girl, and that I would have to live with that for the rest of our marriage…knowing something reserved for me had been given away. Fortunately, I didn’t have to face that:) I am so incredibly blessed and I have much to work on in my own life and he has his own failings but we keep each other strong and when the two of us fall, there is a third party that keeps us both strong. God is a part of this relationship. If we miss devotions and do not devote as much time to God one week, we see the difference. Everything gets to us and we just snap at one another. I cannot emphasise enough how important He is to keeping our relationship healthy. If we did not have His Word to rest on, then what would be holding us back from an affair or divorce? I need Him. He uses Ray to convey His love to me in special ways. I wish I had understood sooner. Anyway, I am so excited about our future together and I really want to grow old with Ray. I am not sure what God has planned for our future, but I want to rest on the fact that it is in HIS hands. Thanks for listening to me ramble on:) I am just so glad I had my parents to learn from, and the example that no matter how hard things have gotten they have remained married and supportive of one another. They also have God in their relationship. I may only be nineteen but I am definitely growing up through these experiences as a wife, so far from my family. I think I needed the boost.
Have a great day everyone! 🙂
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