Honeybee's Hive

_{I wrote this to work through some of the emotions that come with my chronic illness journey, and the struggle it is to get a diagnosis for my never-ending pain, to find a manageable solution, while reconciling it all with my faith. I’m a work-in-progress, but at the end of every painful day I find myself resting in the knowledge that God is listening, He is with me and the hope I have in Him makes all the difference. Even when it all feels hopeless, I have to remember what I know to be true, because feelings are fickle}. _{Some days it is easier to remember He is with me than on others, but on the days when I remember it best, this truth makes all the difference.}

Why Does It Hurt?

_{by Melissa C.}

As a child I cried,

Why does it hurt? 

We asked and asked.

Doctors answered.

But none were quite right.

As a teen I cried,

Why does it hurt?

It just lasts and lasts.

Everyone’s got answers,

Still none are quite right.

As a newlywed I cried,

Don’t you hurt too?

Don’t you? Don’t you?

“No” was the answer.

But that can’t be right.

As a new mom I cried,

Why does it hurt?

What is the cause?

“Just get some exercise.

You’ll be alright.”

As a mom of two I cried,

Why does it hurt?

It’s so much worse now.

“It’s all in your head.

You caused your plight.”

As a thirty-something I cried,

WHY DOES IT HURT?!

I’ve tried so many things.

“This is just your life now.

Give up the fight.”

As I approach forty I sob,

Why… Why does it hurt?

This pain is too intense.

“It’s just par for the course,

And it only gets worse.”

As God’s child I whimper…

Why does it hurt?

Why won’t you take it away?

He answers, “I’m here”

And I know that He’s right.

As a human I cry.

Full of questions.

Still praying for healing.

Leaning on his answer,

That I’ll be alright.

I will still cry.

I won’t get all the answers.

I’ll stumble at times,

And slip into despair. 

He’ll be by my side.

I’ve known pain with a heart drawn near,

And I’ve known pain with a heart pulled away.

I’ll trust the One with all the answers,

Even if they’re not for me to know.

Because His presence makes all the difference.