Not too long ago I took my seven-year-old daughter out for lunch, just the two of us. Afterward, we walked over to the shopping strip not too far from us, mostly to browse. I remembered she had mentioned wanting another journal and pointed out a small display of them to her. Her blue eyes scanned the shelves and settled on a simple brown one with the words “Trust in the Lord” scrolled across the front. When I asked her what she was going to use her journal for she joyfully proclaimed, “I am going to use it to write about all my best days ever!”
My children have been known to exaggerate their excitement or disappointment with a day on the basis of one simple deed alone. If we take them to McDonald’s as a treat it’s “the best day ever!” If they’re really struggling with a school assignment and would rather be playing it can be “the worst day ever!” Their hyperbole is not unexpected from a child, but I was struck by my daughter’s notion of filling her journal with her “best days.”
Notice she used a plural? My seven-year-old daughter has a better outlook on life than I do. While I live each moment anticipating doom and gloom, she is anticipating joy. She is fully expecting to have so many moments of noteworthy happiness that she can fill a journal with. Oh, my heart! It was wrecked in that simple moment. Her words have stuck with me all week, slowly sinking in, and shaping a new idea in my head.
I have been telling myself that adulthood brought about this negativity in my outlook, but if I am honest I think even seven-year-old Melissa was inclined toward the glass is half-empty and leaking philosophy of life. Sure, life has hammered that notion into my brain all the more since childhood, but seeing my daughter’s positivity makes me more determined to curb my attitude, for not only my sake, but hers. “Oh, Lord, do not let me crush that little girl’s spirit!,” I cry.
Life is challenging and I have made it no secret that I wrestle with mental hang-ups that make it all the more so. However, I used to find so much more joy in life than I do now. I could write with hope spurring me on. I could see the tiny flower sprouting out of the cracked earth, surrounded by weeds; the beauty amidst the ugly. So, I am trying to be more intentional in what I say and do. I do not want to sugar coat life, but I also do not want to paint it all with sadness and despair.
I want to experience life with childlike wonder again. I want to have a heart that anticipates all the best days ahead of me, not the worst. I think something can be said for the simple words painted across the front of this journal too. Trust in Lord? That sounds like a fitting attitude for someone whose heart is anticipating joy.
What is your heart anticipating today?
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