I must be out of touch with the way the world communicates because I just don’t get it. I was telling Ray last night that I used to have a good number of friends; friends that even when I moved away wrote letters to keep in touch. We were scribbling our thoughts out in pencil with stickers all over the envelopes. The news was slightly dated by the time the letter arrived but it was exciting to receive mail. It was nice that someone cared enough to take the time to write a letter or even a note.
In middle school we often exchanged notes, regardless of whether we had talked to that person only minutes before in class or on the phone. It was just fun to get a message scrolled out in sparkly gel pens. I never quite mastered origami so it was even more thrilling to get passed a note that had been neatly folded to form its own envelope or a frog that could hop.
However, times changed, lives got busier and the expanse between friends more distance. Computers swiftly became the way to keep in touch, so I embraced the e-mail revolution.
Never fond of the phone, I have always much preferred writing out my thoughts. I find the phone to be frustrating and conversations on it forced and stiff. People multi-task on the phone (I am guilty of this too). I really despise cell phones in particular. While it has become the norm for so many, it just encourages this divided attention problem. Too often we are driving down the street when some crazy song or whatever Ray has currently set as his ring tone begins blaring from his pocket or out to dinner, shopping…I don’t like being that easily accessible. Conversations should be more focused.
Ladies used to sit down to tea and chat. Whatever happened to a chat over coffee and a doughnut?
Plus, phones cut out at the most inopportune moments, whether due to low batteries or, in the case of a cell phone, bad reception. Too many conversations are unceremoniously ended on the phone. I will listen to the other person speak and then they suddenly have to go or you get the impression that they are in a hurry and you are not sure why they called to begin with.
So, I still stand by e-mail…some semblance of the written communication I prefer (when face to face verbal conversations are unavailable). I can say so much more, without interruption or the distraction of whatever is going on in the background on her end or mine. It is how I communicate best. I know other people have said they prefer phone calls, but these are people who are always working and I never feel like I can just call up to shoot the breeze. And so, I write…and write…and no one really writes back. My e-mail inbox sees more traffic from spam than from my actual contacts.
I do not absolve myself from my neglect in communicating effectively and there are some places with friends I know I have dropped the ball; but I am sick of blaming me and me alone. It takes two and honestly and you make time for the people who matter. End of story. Send a smoke signal. Let me know the million e-mails I have typed up are not being sent into oblivion. Just let me know you care that I am taking the time to keep you up to date in the best way I know how (aka my blog devoted to updates about our daughter).
Again, no idealistic summary with this post either…just my complete frustration with already feeling disconnected compounded by seemingly being cut off from people that are family or like family. I have my reasons for feeling like I do and I am sure they do too but seriously, I see you make the time for other people (like replying to everyone on Facebook), if you don’t give a hoot, just say so so I can focus my time on people who do.
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