Lately, I hesitate to post a prayer request as my status on
Facebook because I know that I will receive a lot of sympathy and well-meaning
reassurance. A seemingly odd reason to not
post a request for prayer perhaps; however, I do have a legitimate
thought-process behind this dilemma.
Good things happen on a daily basis. Regardless of how
miserable or bleak life seems, there is always something to be thankful for. I
truly believe this. These are the little moments where I curl up next to my
husband and watch a movie or he comes to my aid by assisting me with or
completing one of the household chores I am having difficulty maintaining due
to my rapidly expanding belly and all the aches, pains etc. that entails. God
finds ways to make me smile in the sunlight that beams through our windows or one
of my Dearest’s quirky idiosyncrasies. These are so numerous and trivial to the
outside observer that I do not want to bombard my friends’ “live feed” with a
series of gushy, sentiments. I do enjoy reading these from other friends but I
suppose moderation is the key.
Still, I suppose this approach leaves the world to wonder
how we are surviving. It disheartens me to hear that family members have sat
down and counted all the trials we have faced and then wondered aloud if we
were going to make it. I feel as if our testimony is somehow diminished in that
our strife overshadows God’s graciousness in the eyes of those looking in from
the outside.
We are only human. We will have moments where we fall
prostrate before God and cry “Why?!” When we are asked what is going on in our
lives, it is only logical that we share the biggest things (for to update
someone on a month or two’s worth of life oftentimes leaves out those happy, little
moments I alluded to before). So, if one were to ask me what is going on at the
moment I would likely be overwhelmed by the fact that our septic is backing up
in a more pronounced way again, reminding us that we cannot put off the $6,000
investment much longer; our washer and dryer are out of commission due to the
pipes backing water up into our laundry room and then the tube leading out of
the dryer ripping; we then recall that the laundry room does not drain into our
septic system so it having issues is yet another arrow pointing toward our need
to spend the aforementioned, exorbitant amount of money.
Add this to the debt we have already accrued because of
medical expenses, on top of the medical bills still not yet paid, as well as
the necessity of eating and you can see why we are just a little frazzled. But
as a Christian, I have hope in Christ and I know that are basic needs are
always met. We may not be living lavishly, and sometimes not even comfortably,
but we are alive and any true comfort we find is through abiding in Him. We
know that the storm clouds will part. We believe that He will take us through
the valleys. But it is also because I am a Christian that I believe in the
power of prayers from the saints lifted up on High. This is why I share our
trials via my status updates on Facebook. It is because I have optimism and
hope in Christ. It is because I believe in His power and love.
Admittedly, part of sharing woes is to vent. At times, we
need this as well. We know God is watching out for us but in the interim it can
get lonely. And so, I appreciate the reassurance offered by fellow-Christians.
I just worry that people are starting or already do think that our life is a
mess.
If all they see is one crazy expense after another arising
in our lives, then why would they want to live for God? What incentive or
benefit do they see to tithing when they feel our money could be directly
invested into bills? We tithe because God commanded us to and because His
ministry is worth investing in. He has never failed us and He won’t fail us
now. It is His money so to take it and put it toward something else would be
exhibiting a lack of faith. Are we not clothed? Are we not sheltered? Do we not
have food in our pantry? Things are not easy. Sometimes we feel like Satan is
trying to divide us from Christ through all the trials but despite it all, God
is good.
He is all we need. The things He gives us are blessings. We
have done nothing to deserve them but still He even sees fit to provide us with
a lovely home, a strong marriage and a baby on the way. He still throws in
surprise provisions that just make me marvel at His goodness.
Please know: we are alright. And please do not group my
parents’ struggles in with mine. I share their woes because I know people will
pray and I know God will act in a mighty way. When He answers the prayer, it is
a testimony to say “See how God answered your prayers! Praise Him!” My husband
and I have our own family, with its own set of failings and worry but do not
make us sound all the more pitiful by grouping us in with another family. It
only makes God appear smaller when one magnifies our strife to include extended
family or friends.
God is bigger than all of this. So, while I feel it should
go without saying, when I ask for prayer it is to derive strength from the
fellowship of God’s children and to say “Look, life’s a little hairy at the
moment but we believe He will provide. Please pray though because sometimes we
can falter in our faith. Sometimes it is harder to say ‘He will provide’ with
heartfelt conviction, but that is why I need prayer all the more”.
Despite the really low lows, despite how discouraged I feel, I would not trade my life for
anyone else’s. The blessings far outweigh the heartache in number. I suppose I
just wanted to assure everyone else…
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