A budget? That is nothing new around here. Ever since we bought our home and took on a monthly mortgage payment, we have had to stick to a budget. However, there is one area that we continually find hard to maintain a certain limit on. This fluctuating amount falls under the grocery/clothing/extras umbrella. Shopping at Wal-Mart may help us take advantage of some of the lowest prices, but they also have everything we need or want under one roof. It is easy to wind up in the houseware section after meandering over from the pharmacy and toiletry aisles. "We need a new shower liner" ends up being "Oh, I wish we could buy that glass set…Ooo and those sheets! Ours are getting rather ragged." The latter is true, but when I am charged with the challenge of creating an entire month’s menu of three meals a day, plus snacks and drinks, even without the extras it is easy for the amount to run away from me.
I find it increasingly more challenging to stick to a grocery budget now, since we have hit a really big pothole in our financial road. Going over our set amount could mean we miss our power bill or miss worse, our mortgage payment. How am I supposed to feed my husband and myself healthy, well-balanced meals when the only way to create an affordable monhtly meal plan is to buy Raman Noodles and canned pasta? I do not know if that is me being stubborn or not, but I do feel strongly about eating right. It does not seem that a budget and those well-balanced meals are compatible. Every month I type out a list, I compare the prices of past receipts, tally up the total as best I can and present my husband with the information. It is the impulse buys and the items I could not find a price for that end up doing us in.
This is a frustration, but I am sure we will work through it. God is faithful, and our needs are always met. We will have food on our table. No, it probably will not be gourmet but it will be sustenance. He has shown this time and again. God never promises to provide all our wants though. That is hard to swallow at times, despite the fact that He often chooses to bless us with many the desires of our hearts as well. I am hearing the message a lot lately "Be content". As I write to you this morning, I am struggling a great deal with this issue of contentment. When I see people who act sour because of an attitude of "entitlement" I get put off. It makes them come across so shallow, rude and incondsiderate. Well, to be honest, I am stuck a bit in the mud puddle of "I should have this…"
What is "this" you may wonder? Honestly, make-up. I am not the girl who wears layers upon layers of foundation, lipstick and eye colour. I do not line my eyes or curl my eyelashes. On any given day, you are more than likely going to see me as I am…plain ol’ freckle-faced me. On occassion, I will put on some mascara and on even rarer occassions I will add some shadow and blush to the mix. I do not know how to apply makeup really and I used to feel really strongly about looking natural, because you are either going to like me for who I am or you are not. However, for special events, it is nice to be dolled up. For one night you feel like a beauty queen, like you could turn every head in the room. For me, it boosts my confidence. On Saturday, I will be a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding. All I have in my makeup box is a bottle of foundation and some waterproof mascara. The rest is past its prime and really needs to be tossed. My husband and I went over our budget last night and quite frankly even a $5 pack of eyeshadow is out of the question. So, what do I do? I could borrow my sisters’ beauty products…but I am stuck in the whole rut of, "I should have my own because they all do!"
Anyway, I do not have any real answer to any of this. I am just getting it all off my chest so that perhaps a new light may be shed on the situation, now that I can see it all displayed in front of me. We will continue to read our book Your Money Counts by Howard Dayton, we will tithe and we will trust that this hole we are stuck in will be filled in. Our fist goal is to get out of debt, so it is going to be different around here. Before, a few cosmetics would not have broke the bank but we are not there anymore, we are where we are presently. I will adjust and hopefully learn to be truly content. It is one of the hardest life-lessons, though!
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