Last I wrote, it was simply a gray and rainy day. Yesterday, they were forecasting isolated thunderstorms but there was nothing on the radar near my area, so I was only mildly concerned. However, today they are again calling for thunderstorms and the radar has a nice mass of red, yellow and green heading my way. In case you are completely unfamiliar with my blogs and personality…I am terrified of storms. It is one of those irrational fears I suppose, but it is there nonetheless. So, here I am writing a blog. Aren’t you lucky?
Fear. Ahhh, such a small word but such a hold it can have on a person. I wrote a blog sometime back entitled "Weathering the Storm—Under God’s Watch Box." Isn’t it funny how hard it is to adhere to logic when fears are tested? I do cling to logic in my frightened state. Unfortunately, the logic that resounds in my head is flawed. It is only after the storm passes that I come back down to rational thinking and realize, God was there all along. He didn’t just appear. So, what am I to do while the skies are turning gray, doubts of God’s protection are swirling through my mind and my body is growing tense? How to I fend off the feelings of what if God proves my faith in His strength wrong? I know these things are stumbling blocks I must overcome and stems of my own flawed view of God. Please, do not think that He is out to get you. I know in my heart that He is watching out for my best interest, but my head gets flustered. So, why am I insisting on spouting off about my fear of a thunderstorm? The point is, we all will face fears in life. A spider inching its way up the wall may send you shrieking into the other room. Gazing out a window on the 50th floor may cause your heart to start racing. Fears are an unfortunate side effect of the fall of man. Everything was perfect in the Garden of Eden. What was there to fear?
Fears that seem so petty so some are crippling to others. In my case, the fear of a thunderstorm is crippling to me. It’s not healthy. Over Easter break my family and I watched Because of Winn-Dixie. In one scene, the daughter and her father wake up because they hear crashing and banging in the other room. Outside, a thunderstorm is booming and flashing. Winn-Dixie (the dog) is frantic, running around, knocking things over. He does this the entire duration of the storm. I know this may sound silly, but I could relate with the dog. That is pretty much how ridiculous I look during a thunderstorm. I cower in a corner or walk around with weak knees, whimpering. It is quite pitiful. It’s also not the most flattering image to paint of oneself to an audience of friends and strangers, but it’s a fact. My point is better made when I shed light on my own struggles.
So, what exactly is my point? That is a good question. To be honest, the reason I started writing at all was to calm my nerves and to rationalize. Of course, the moment my fingers hit the keys I was given the answer to what I should do. It is quite simply put in one word, PRAY. I could vent all day to people about my fear to try out for a play but that would not get me to the audition, nor would it soothe my wary nerves. There are some fears that make more reasonable sense than others. Many people are not too keen on getting aboard an aeroplane (me included). The common prescription for any fear though, is prayer. Who is bigger than the storm? Who can give you the peace and reassurance you need to get through a long flight? In the end, I’ve found the best way to cope with my fears is to come back to God. Somehow, spilling my concerns to the God who is in charge of it all, makes me stronger. I can still appear shaky and nervous, but there is a peace in knowing that my Savior loves me and does not want to hurt me. I cannot imaging facing my fears without God. I just don’t know how I’d function at all. Give your fears to God. He’s got the biggest couch and the biggest ear. He doesn’t sit there and analyze you, He just listens and waits for you to give your worries to Him. That’s the best place to leave them.
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
— 1 Peter 5:7
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